Depression?

Okay, so according to one's standard eldritch-horror type view of the universe, nothing makes sense, nothing matters on any larger scale, and the entirety of all humanity ever accomplished will be for nothing. 

Got that? Cool. 

Now, naturally since nothing is of any particular importance, and you could die in about two seconds after reading this, you can pretty much choose yourself what you want your life to be about, what is your purpose, basically what you want to do. 

Which is your basic "You are the main character of your life" spiel.

I've been looking at my motivations for a while now, trying to see if they're the reason for my lack of, what I see as accomplishments, in my life, thus far. And....

I am indeed lacking in motivation, in drive, in the need to get things done. 

Sure, there are things I wish for - for good things for everyone, for nice, hedonistic things for myself, and, and I do care about people, at least on some level. It hurts when they're hurting and all that.

It's just... I don't really care for things, at least, per se. I've practically trained myself to NOT care for items. I mean, I love stories quite a bit, but I do not need to own any sort of physical media for them, or to even experience them twice... and I don't particularily care which of the various good stories I get to see... or, at this point, with the amount of stories I've already digested, if I even experience further stories.  

Other material goods seem equally pointless, I cannot really think of any I cannot do without. 

Personality-wise, I'm an introverted recluse, so while I do actually enjoy human company, I can do with a very frugal amount of it. 

Relationship-wise - well, okay, I'm a bit lonely, but I'm quite accustomed to it, and to be in a relationship would once again be, most likely, an equal mix of, well, various things.

I have some self-esteem issues, so it's hard to see myself ever accomplishing anything relevant, but I might have some interests there. Still, at best I would accomplish the same things thousands have before me.

I do like having a warm, dry place to sleep, eating, sleeping and washing regularily. Although it would be somewhat less bothersome if I didn't need to do those things. 

I'm sorry, I guess I'm just feeling particularily apathetic right now.

So, what's my motivation in this scene?

John Carpenter Recycled IN SPACE!

Fun dreams: 

A ragtag team of misfits, if you like, some veteran spacers, some total newbies, start on a voyage on a heavily-armored old junker with blast doors on every cargo hold. 

In one, sealed and locked, a tiny xenomorph is discovered. This is enough to panic the veterans, but the little thing seems relatively harmless to those with less experience, and eventually most of the crew comes to take a look at the thing. Things, however, are worse than they seem.

In fact, what the hold contains is a mimic, capable of infecting and possessing other lifeforms... and there's no idea who are infected, including the viewpoint character ( in this case: the dreamer. )

Thought I'd mention it. Title comes from, y'know. Fever always gives me fun dreams. Well, sometimes. Well, once or twice.

With web links and,  y'know, subtext becomes text.

Exorcising a story idea from my mind.

This is just one of the random things bouncing in my head. The idea would be to describe an RPG campaign in the style of Darths & Droids or DM of the Ring.

You'll never actually see it, since I'm no good at writing, but the idea could potentially be amusing, at least.

The story goes something like this:

GM: I've been planning this new campaign, in the spirit of wuxia movies, set in... I'm not really sure. Mythic China seems the obvious choice, but I've been thinking, maybe something like modern day but with supernatural elements - you know, kinda like The Medallion or... well, it's a work in progress. Interested?

As-of-unnamed-player: I guess... which rules will you be using?

GM: Well, I was thinking, we could stick to the stuff available for free in the web, so maybe D20 SRD and D20 modern SRD, using Gestalt...

A-o-u-p: Gestalt? With Modern? You'll get some really high-powered characters that way. I mean, not that I mind that much, but players will be wanting quite a bit of combat.

GM: Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm after. If you're interested, why don't you try creating a character? You don't have to fill it all the way out yet, we'll check it before I approve of it. We'll start at level, oh, five or six. Maybe six.

Aoup:

Later:

Aoup: ...So, what do you think?

GM: A nine-year old half-giant natural were-ape monk? Are you serious?

Aoup: Well, yeah, although I'm thinking of it as a more of a new race, with tail.

GM: Apes don't have a tail, you know? Oh well...

GM: .... Fine. You can have your tail. I'm also making you twelve, and giving your some stat penalties instead of a level adjustment, so it'll hopefully be playable. You do realize that you only have that high strenght in ape or hybrid form, right? And you'll still likely be terribly underpowered.

Aoup: Nah, I have a good feeling about this one. Besides, if I die, I can roll a new one, right?

GM: Whatever. I still say you're going to be terribly underpowered.

Moar Japan - Shibuya

It's been more than a year since I posted some pictures. I really have no excuse for that. Still...

Um, okay, this system of tracking passengers was, in fact, new to me. I think this is the Yūtenji station. There's a really nice bookstore not far from here, and a rather nice fast food place right next to it. We were rather puzzled about it's name, but it seems my katakana reading prevailed, eventually.

The park in... uh, close to Hiroo. I think.

Nice small waterfall.

The Awesome!Dog

Encountered somewhere between a 100yen shop and the Finnish embassy.

The obligatory Hachiko shot. I took a few shots around there. As we later discovered, a trip to Shinjuku would'a been proper. Oh well, hindsight.... fortunately we didn't lose much. I was completely lost at this point, and I eventually took a solo trip just to learn how to navigate in Tokyo. That's the good thing about a long enough trip, you can "waste" time and no harm's done....

Yep.... Shibuya....

Here's the thing... there aren't many "Real" cities in Finland, if any. Oulu definitely isn't one. The photo doesn't give the right impression, but the Shibuya station is mind-bogglingly huge. Someone like me who's lived in cities with 5-digit population cannot easily grasp such sizes. I got completely lost in the shibuya terminal at one point, during my solo trip... and that's just a small fragment of Shibuya, which is a small fragment of Tokyo. I mean, Tokyo is practically a country on it's own, and I heavily advocate separating a trip to Japan from a trip to Tokyo.

Next time, more of life at Hanne's apartment and the first of our many trips to Akihabara .

That's not bad

Sort of fashion-y. I was actually going for fantasy, but, whatever. Had fun with the folds, even though they kinda suck, as I am out of practice.

I was thinking, not strictly speaking of a roleplaying character, but more of a RPG mechanics verse character, in a story idea that's pouncing in my brain.

I like RPG mechanics for a story, as it prevents overt plot-induced idiocies, like superhumans being beaten by random norms... or Buffyverse vampires, with their spongy chests and vapour clothers. (Seriously, a normal human can stake a vampire with a pencil. What's up with that?)

I have several stories bouncing in my brain, most of them bad or underdeveloped, and they'll probably never see the light of day. 

A bit unrelated, but I'm trying something odd involving imagination...

Yeah, vague. 

I shall endeavor to explain that better at some instance in the future.

*edit*

Also, doodles!